Inside Out

There was a huge snowstorm here today, which made my 20 minute commute into a 3 hour debacle that included waiting in a huge line up for the bus to show up, not get into that bus, waiting for the next one which doesn't take me as far as i need to go. I got on it, sat in a crowded bus moving 20km/h if it was moving at all for 90 minutes. Then had a 30 minute walk through 2 ft. deep snowdrifts and 70km winds. In skate shoes. I love this country.

During this i must have listened to Another Breath's Mill City at least three times. I've taken the time to sit down with the lyric book and actually read the lyrics lately and they're really well written. Every song has a pretty powerful message, many of them i can relate to. There's a song called Coming Home on the record that made this situation a little more bearable.

I've pretty much always had an issue with where i live, i always find a way to complain about the weather or the city, even if there isn't anything substantial to be complaining about. I know that this rampant complaining has nothing to do with my environment, it has to do with myself. It wouldn't matter where i am, I'd still feel like I'm stagnating and stuck in a rut. Anyway, this song speaks to this really well and it's helped me see this problem in a new light.

Coming Home

Everything is so empty. There's nothing here for me. This town is just a collection of dead ends and bad memories. It permeates everything I do. I was so convinced I could run away and just start again. I ran so far away but I found that nothing changed. Everywhere - the emptiness that I tried to escape. I found the same longing and desperation. I found the pain I thought that I could leave behind. See the town is not the problem. The problem lies in me and the failures and regrets that distort everything I see. I see it now so clearly in the sun that never left the home I left behind. The world is just a reflection of how I see. A projection of the ugliness and hate I live and breathe. Some things I can't outrun. Memories like asphalt never fucking change. Eyes turned blind to beauty. I cannot escape.

I'll probably post a few more songs off this record later, if you haven't taken the time to read the lyrics do so while listening along. The dude who writes this stuff is seriously talented.